I know, that means that you guys aren’t going to hear many
more hilarious fuck ups from my “wild adventures” (Ha! Yeah right...) or about
any more crazy guys... In some ways, this is a sad thing because I’ll have to
actually put effort into thinking of what to write, in another way, I am
blissfully in lust (and maybe more - in time) with the Sexy Guitarist, and
therefore I am not complaining. Definitely not complaining.
No one told me about
guitarists, so it has been a complete shock to me. If you don’t know, I would
advise asking your friends (NOT family or co-workers!) in case you ever need to
know.
At the moment we’re in those clumsy, shy beginnings,
where everything is perfect and sweet and romantic, but one wrong move could
spell DOOM. For example – if I were to do something slightly too nutty, like
inform him of exactly how much I LOVE cats. I’m trying to bring that one in
gently. So far, it seems to be going well, but I REALLY had to restrain myself
last night when a cat entered the room we were in at one of his band mate’s
houses. Most of you are aware, I believe, of how psychotic I get about cats. I
am incapable of just passing one in the street. I want to own about fifty of
the furry bastards, and a shot gun, rocking chair, porch and some whiskey. See,
to my friends this anti social cattitude has become something of the norm. They’re
used to the glazed eyes I get when talking about cats, see it as “just ellie”
and move on. But this has serious scaring off potential partner risk.
Especially if they are dog people. Luckily for me, I did a bit of digging and
discovered that he is not adverse to beings of the feline persuasion. Thank
god! Hurdle number one cleared.
Next, of course, is the worrying about whether you’re coming
over as a bunny boiler. We all know that I’m quite chilled out in relationships
as to what my partner gets up to in his spare time. I’m not a jealous kind of
girl, and I don’t feel the need to know where they are and who they’re with every
minute of the day, as long as I know when abouts they’re going to be home so
that I know whether or not to start ringing the hospitals’ A and E depts. BUT...
due to the fact that I worry that I may come across as being a bunny boiler, I
over-compensate – I go right through disinterested and out the other side
again, back into bunny boiler potential. So, a question such as “Oh, you’re
going to see her? That’s cool, have fun!” becomes, “Oh, you’re going to see her?
When? Not that I mind or anything. I do CARE of course, because you’re
involved, but I don’t think you’re about to sleep around. Honest.” And the poor
guy I’m talking to is left with the distinct impression that I was implying
that I did not approve of him visiting his sister.
Of course, guys have just as many problems. Where us girls
are just trying to act like sane people, guys have to act like they are good
with emotions and stuff. Which, let’s face it guys, you’re really not. Unless
you’re gay or have Mummy issues. Not to generalise or anything, but that is
usually the way it works. So you poor things have to go around being “romantic”
and not mentioning sport or farting in front of this girl you’re interested in
for at LEAST a week. Believe me, I feel for you, I really do. And of course,
you may manage to keep this up for a good long while, until you take her to
meet your mates and you get sabotaged – “Did you know that Will can squirt his
drink out of his nose so accurately it’ll hit the bloke behind the bar in the
eye?” - yells one of your mates before you manage to garrotte the bugger. And
then it’s week’s worth of effort down the drain.
And finally, the BIG issue, the “am I moving too fast for
the other person” worry. When is it right to hold hands? When is it right to
greet someone with a kiss? Or take the piss out of them without causing
offense? And finally, of course, the “L-Word”. Generally, I take my lead from
the other person when it comes to the pace of the relationship. But this will
only work as long as the other person is not taking their lead from me, or we’ll
both be stuck in this perpetual motion machine and will never get anywhere.
Naturally, this does not count with the L-Word as it is such a big deal to me.
I’ll say it when I am ready. Whether that be after two dates or twenty – I don’t
care. I’d far rather be honest than piss about with someone’s feelings. And I
expect the same from the other side. Maybe I’ll be ready to say it before them,
maybe they’ll be ready to say it before me. It doesn’t really matter. Either
way, both parties should be headed in the same direction, just at their own
individual pace.
I think that one of the things that we all forget when we’re
in this fresh, shiny and new stage of potential coupling, is that the other
person is just as worried about doing or saying the wrong thing and ruining it
as we are. The fact is that if there wasn’t a connection then you wouldn’t have
got together in the first place. We should all just stop worrying and get on
with it. Unless the other person turns out to be a secret, alcoholic, mass
murderer with a penchant for eating worms, in which case – RUN!
Before I go, if there are any sexy guitarists out there
reading this – I totally exaggerated about the cats thing. Honest. ;)
Now let's just hope that this blog post hasn't messed it all up... LMAO!
