Teasing Your Other Half Is Never A Good Idea

One of my favourite things to do is irritate my other half. This isn’t because I dislike him, or want to cause him pain or misery, but simply because I adore the poor bugger.There is something about his “I think I’m going to break your nose” face that I find adorable, hilarious and satisfying.

I remember when we first got together. He would not tolerate teasing in any manner – seeming to think it was an insult towards him, which I found highly confusing to say the least.In my family, teasing is rife. It always has been. I ought to suggest an awards evening once a year for the best ruses, insults and other misdemeanours. My little brother was declared as being gay LONG before he came out, my mum completely off her trolley and my god mum even more so for voluntarily becoming part of the family.

When poor Hopo first came for a meal at my Mum’s I remember him looking on in stunned disbelief as insults flew back and forth across the table, narrowly avoiding him, while the rest of us laughed at each other’s expense and the usual family stories of bad behaviour and appalling accidents were rolled out for him to digest along with his meal. As I have always been aware of the fact that I come from a family with BIG personalities that tend to overshadow the quieter, more sensible type of person I was a little nervous about the first meeting, especially as I knew that Hopo was not used to people pulling his leg.

Surprisingly, everything went off rather well, Hopo left a lasting impression on my Mother (judging from a later, rather more drunken conversation, where she told me that he has a “sexy forehead”) who still adores him and would probably adopt him if we ever broke up, and Hopo has since said that he really enjoys visiting my Mum because of the constantly happy atmosphere, or words to that effect anyway.

I remember the absolute delight I felt when my poor other half was eventually bullied into defending himself from my tormenting ways. I think it was my renaming him “Poppy” or “Pops” that did it. It came about through one of those long, dull, couple-y type incidents that make single people angry and other couples go “aawwww” but everyone really finds quite dull. Suffice it to say that Hopo was not impressed with his rebranding and was even less impressed when I replied “But you’re my flower!” as this was insulting his testosterone levels even further. It must have been at this point that he decided that something must be done about his irritating, overly happy girlfriend.

Unfortunately for him, his fighting back has only made me happier.
As time has gone on I have noticed a very important change. Hopo no longer teases me just to defend himself. He now teases me just for the sake of teasing me. I heartily approve of this method of showing affection – for one thing it is always amusing to see what new and interesting method he’s developing, and for another I always have a great time thinking up a new method of returning the favour.

The other important change that I have noticed is that now, when I tease him I am often rewarded with a grin before receiving an equally good insult. Well, more often than not his insults are better than mine, as his brain seems to work faster. I often have to go quiet for a minute or two before I am able to make a decent retort, thinking over my different options and wondering if they are overstepping the mark or not. Every now and then I get a real zinger that I say without thinking, often managing to shock everyone in the room.

I have proof of this change – On Friday we went out for a meal together at The Man At Arms, a pub that sells the HUGEST steaks I have ever seen – a 24oz is one of their MEDIUM SIZED portions… anyway, I had a thoroughly good time, and during the enormous meal Hopo kindly informed me of the fact that I am mental (a fact that I am already well aware of, after all, you’ve all heard about my mother! If not – see my previous blog entries!) and later told me that being ginger must make me part vampire, as I am soulless and burn in the sun. See? He is definitely able to hold his own against me, and is now verging on being better than I am, a fact that I find I am not entirely happy about – teasing is MY area of expertise.

I think that the real reason I enjoy teasing Hopo is because he is so good at everything. You have no idea how frustrating it is to be a relatively normal human being (gingerness aside) who is dating a total genius. I figure that something simply has to be done to keep his ego in check, and improve his sense of humour – everyone has to learn to laugh at themselves!

I think that the laughter and good humour that this has brought into my life (and I assume Hopo’s too!) really makes life worth living and sharing; and I couldn’t be happier with my victim. He’ll have to hatch a dastardly plan to escape this one…